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Learning To Move On

Sometimes, these rejections are actually the best redirections ~Belle
Maybe it's meant to be so you can find a better job ~Leo
Maybe it's not time yet, God has something else in store ~Gwen

Loved ones, they respond in a way that feels supportive. Key words above are 'sometimes' and 'maybe'. It's hard to see now and it hurts because it felt like it was within grasp and I've let it slip through my fingers. I didn't get the job offer.


After weeks of interviewing, they have decided to go with another candidate. I was told it was down to us two and they had a tough time choosing. It stung. With each round (four in total), I did more research and prep. The more research I did, the more excited I got and had envisioned myself in the company. I saw this job not only as a means of financial income (a privilege to say that) but a springboard to social interaction and starting my Australia experience of wanting to live and work in a different country. I know this time will still come, but for a moment there it felt like someone was ready to take a chance on me.


To enable me a foot into a function I'm looking to grow in. I started believing that I could learn a lot and contribute meaningfully to the organisation, beyond what the role requested. The NGO is a young one, and I grew to like many things about it. Tunnel vision perhaps? During the process, I liked what I saw, the team is vibrant and they seem to have cool new initiatives. Their brand story and mission/vision aligns with my personal values. Everything was lining up. Until it didn't.


That's how it is to be invested in something. Would it have been easier to be eliminated in the second round? Not having your hopes raised; I suppose. But as tough a pill as it is to swallow, sadly it happens.


This feeling (of rejection or loss) is new to me. The feeling of coming so close to something and missing it - like coming in second place in a really tight race or missing the million dollars on Survivor after going through all that hardship - I don't know this.


To recover from the news, Gabe and I took a walk at the park. We discovered a flying-fox (also known as fruit bats, what?!) swamp, admired ducks on land and water, and had a conversation about 'losses'.


ducks on left, flying foxes on right


Gabe asked if I could describe the feeling as losing shall-not-be-named-ex-bf, but that doesn't even come close to describing how I felt, since a relationship was something we had, but just didn't work out.


I could only imagine the feeling as being on my way to visit gong gong and nearly reaching his house but receiving a call that I didn't make it 'in time'. It feels like that chance was taken away, robbed from me. And we're just left to 'deal with it'. It's not a good feeling for sure.


What helps me now is knowing I can take some time to heal. That I can afford time to search for something else that would excite me again. Without doubt, I have Gabe to thank for being my number one supporter and provider.


Meanwhile, am looking to enrol into a course I've been eyeing. An online course to fill the time, and to fuel my drive for continuous learning and growing. That's most important, to me at least. It's not what you do and how much you earn but to continue that process of improving Self in every aspect, whether professionally or personally.


The need to care for oneself aka #selfcare has come up a lot with the spotlight on RVHS death. If anything, self-care is not just for the Self, but so that you can care for others and not pose as a risk, in this context. Ok, will not go down the path of openly sharing my thoughts on that incident. I think what I'm saying is, caring for self is important to be able to care for others. We all know that, but do we practice it enough?


We’ve all heard it hundreds of times before, on every flight we’ve ever taken: “Attend to your own mask before your child’s”. Same theory.


Caring for myself allows me to be better for Gabe here, and making this transition experience a good one.


Lately, there's been a lot of self-improvement and growth but not enough professional development. I hope to find a balance, even if that means I'd have to be ready to put myself out there again and restart the entire process.


For now, I'm gonna have to let the sting remedy itself through time and acceptance.


Learning to accept setbacks

Learning to not see it as a setback

Learning to reframe setback, as opportunities


I am thankful for the job opportunities I've had. Thankful that these people would meet with me and I got to share and talk about my achievements. There was a sense of accomplishment after every round, that feeling of putting myself out there as much as I didn't want to. So for anyone going through this yucky process, I know we just have to give ourselves time, and soldier on.



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