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  • Gabriel

T-Minus 14 Days: The Wall

If you run often enough you've probably heard the phrase "hitting the wall".

When you hit the wall, your legs start feeling like concrete posts, every step is a triumph of will and you seriously doubt that the race actually has a finish line. ~ Runner's World

I've been feeling pretty out of it in the last couple of days. It feels like I'm running laps that just don't seem to end. Another farewell, one lap completed. Checked off move stuff, another lap done. Job hunt, one more lap done. Pack luggage, lap done. And on and on it goes.

I felt a little emotional/sad after today's farewell with some of my old friends. People wishing me all the best because they may not see me again or others wanting to meet up again before I go. It's all really nice and I appreciate the time and effort they're making. It's not that I don't want to, I'm just not sure I have it in me to keep adding and running these laps. Also, the blog t-minus countdown is also starting to freak me out - 14 days, 10 days, 5 days, 3 days, 1 day.

So today's feeling of the day is a mix of fatigue, sadness, and anxiety. Fatness-xiety.

I've always been more a head rather than a heart person so processing these complex mixed emotions is really difficult for me. I told Sarah I was feeling sad today though I wasn't sure if that was fatigue talking or real emotions. By the way, she's handling all of her own emotions and changes way better than me so #proudofher.

I looked up how to overcome the walls and in it's most basic explanation it's about supply and demand. Run too fast and your body's resources will deplete then you hit the wall. So people recommend pacing yourself, loading up on resources like carbs, hydrate often. For me and the move, that translates into taking regular breaks from all things move related, communicating and sharing the load with friends and family, pray more, recharge when I can and occasionally do stuff I enjoy.

We/I always said that the move will help us grow as people and it's definitely brought up new lessons and emotions we otherwise would never have had. Recognising these emotions and finding ways to deal with them is a big step up for me.

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